Thursday 30 June 2011

So... what might a trainee curate's wife learn?

It's taken two long years to come to terms with being married to a curate - not something I ever thought was remotely possible when we got married. So what have I learned ?

A first year curate full of optimism
1. I'm never going to get a Sunday morning lie in with Steve Wright without feeling guilty.

2. 'The Curate's wife' is much easier for other people to remember than my name.

3. To keep a supply of cakes and quiches (that look homemade) in the freezer for bring and share suppers.

4. I can hear The Archers omnibus on BBC i player anytime.

5. I can wash, dry and iron The Curate's surplice in 60 minutes (necessary when he cuts his finger and bleeds all over it  - and has another service that day)     


A year later...........
6. I know that to remove lily pollen from a white surplice - you DO NOT get it wet. (Inspect all altar flowers  for lilies and surreptitiously cut out the stamens.)

7. I know that to remove lily pollen from a white surplice you have to use strong sticky tape.

8. Always have an expandable meal because I never know who The Curate might walk through the door with.   

9. The Curate is often around at suppertime and can prepare a meal just as well as me - so I don't have to rush back from work.
10. 'Curate's Time' is an elastic concept of time - never believe "I'll only be a few minutes".

11.  Sit in an inconspicuous place in church (i.e. behind a pillar) so that The Curate cannot see my facial expressions as he delivers his sermons. 

12.  Sit in an inconspicuous place in church (i.e. behind a pillar) so that I do not catch the The Curate's  eye and make him lose his place.

13. Do not answer the telephone in the study unless I have my own pen and paper to hand. It will not be for me and it is impossible to find a writing implement to write down a message because of all the piles files on the desk.

14.
I will add to this list as I remember all I have learned - please feel free to share your suggestions.


Saturday 25 June 2011

I'm on my way!

I'm just taking a deep breath, finishing the school reports and limping to the end of term. After that I'll be up and running and this blog will be ready to roll.....See you soon!!     
Regards H  (The former reluctant curate's wife)