Thursday, 30 June 2011

So... what might a trainee curate's wife learn?

It's taken two long years to come to terms with being married to a curate - not something I ever thought was remotely possible when we got married. So what have I learned ?

A first year curate full of optimism
1. I'm never going to get a Sunday morning lie in with Steve Wright without feeling guilty.

2. 'The Curate's wife' is much easier for other people to remember than my name.

3. To keep a supply of cakes and quiches (that look homemade) in the freezer for bring and share suppers.

4. I can hear The Archers omnibus on BBC i player anytime.

5. I can wash, dry and iron The Curate's surplice in 60 minutes (necessary when he cuts his finger and bleeds all over it  - and has another service that day)     

A year later...........
6. I know that to remove lily pollen from a white surplice - you DO NOT get it wet. (Inspect all altar flowers  for lilies and surreptitiously cut out the stamens.)

7. I know that to remove lily pollen from a white surplice you have to use strong sticky tape.

8. Always have an expandable meal because I never know who The Curate might walk through the door with.   

9. The Curate is often around at suppertime and can prepare a meal just as well as me - so I don't have to rush back from work.
10. 'Curate's Time' is an elastic concept of time - never believe "I'll only be a few minutes".

11.  Sit in an inconspicuous place in church (i.e. behind a pillar) so that The Curate cannot see my facial expressions as he delivers his sermons. 

12.  Sit in an inconspicuous place in church (i.e. behind a pillar) so that I do not catch the The Curate's  eye and make him lose his place.

13. Do not answer the telephone in the study unless I have my own pen and paper to hand. It will not be for me and it is impossible to find a writing implement to write down a message because of all the piles files on the desk.

I will add to this list as I remember all I have learned - please feel free to share your suggestions.


  1. I'll have to ask DH if he can add to the list, Harriet. He certainly didn't iron my surplice or cassock-alb, so the Curate is a lucky man :-)

  2. Thanks for (#7)the sticky tape/pollen tip! Re: #10--must be like being a doctor's wife. This was my mother's reality when I was growing up! I agree with Perpetua...methinks the Curate is a lucky man :)

  3. Had to smile at your list' it certainly covers the realities of life, not only for a Curate's Wife, but the mother of teenagers as well.

  4. Hello - now don't go thinking that I am the good curate's wife who does all the washing and cleaning. I have to say that, with his RN training, The Curate washes and irons better than me. On some occasions and for some situations - team work is needed so that someone doesn't panic!

  5. ...I figured that, based on #9. Also, being an RN means you can handle just about anything!! Btw, mine cooks, cleans, and irons better than I do, too--no panic-ing here (usually) ! :)

  6. About 13 - I would call it a mess - I can't find anything to write on, or with either! xxx
    PS: By the way, it should be noted that we were a bit short on No. 8 when the people from the north coast church were brought home for tea this afternoon. Lists are all well and good........but don't put cake on the table :)