Monday, 4 July 2011

Waiting for a wedding.

The Curate has yet to officiate at his first wedding – one of the boxes that must be ticked as part of his curate’s training.  It should have been this summer but as we have moved parishes, the box remains unticked .  You might count attending the Royal Wedding of local school children – but thinking about it, The Curate didn’t officiate at this very happy occasion either. So, The Curate is still waiting...

People can choose to get married in so many different places today. They can choose from hotels and castles, on beaches and in even in the Natural History museum. Why would they choose a church, especially as the Church of England has decided to raise the cost to £425 for the privilege? ( I appreciate this is nothing compared to the price of some receptions, wedding dresses and honeymoons.)

As I approach our 31st wedding anniversary, I look back and have no regrets for choosing to be married in church – despite having a husband who had no understanding of being a Christian. His RN Padre did nothing to encourage him to explore this and I married a man who was not baptised or confirmed. Yet this man is now a curate in the Church of England. Had my vicar refused to marry us – would we have chosen somewhere else (if we had had the choice then)? It was very important for me to be married with God’s blessing and for us to make our vows before God. Would a hotel room, a field or a beach have done?  I don’t believe so.

All married in church (not at the same time!) - my 3 sisters and their husbands and my brother and his wife and The Curate and me.


  1. Gosh, times have changed in the 23 years since I was ordained, H. Even though I was an NSM curate, I'd done at least 3 or 4 weddings by the end of my second year. It was before the days of the country house/hotel wedding and we were kept quite busy on summer Saturdays. Hope The Curate gets his first soon - weddings are fun.

  2. It does seem that people today choose to be married 'elsewhere', but in my mind the significance of the occasion of a marriage loses something by not being celebrated in Church. I was married in church as were most of my vintage. Times have changed. I am sure The Curate will officiate at his first wedding soon!

  3. I wasn't married in church--I had a Spanish priest who had known me since childhood marry us in my living room. I would love our girls to get married in our orchard (which has trees all around a central meadow) or the beach. Would an Anglican priest be permitted to marry people in a garden or on the beach, I ask in my ignorance?

  4. Not in England or Wales as things stand, Anita, though I think it's different in Scotland (don't know the details). However, by the time your daughters are thinking of marriage, things might have changed to allow this. Who knows...?