Christmas 2012 in pictures that I might have missed.

The spring bulbs' green tips, determinedly pushing their way upwards, through sodden earth and into the grey, rain-laden world.

The chatter of two sons, catching up, making up for their busy lives separating them by time and distance.

The silliness of sticky notes stuck on foreheads, trying to guess the famous name written on them!

Every seat filled around our dining table.

The church memorial plaque, lit by flickering candle light at midnight mass, reminding us of the  abbots that once belonged in this space ;- 
AEfmaer, Lyfing, Ealdred, Sihtric,Wymund, Osbert.....  long forgotten names.

The Lord's Prayer recited as one low reverent voice of 400 worshippers like the abbots chanting vespers in a dimly lit abbey.

The single star standing sentry to the almost full moon throughout the Christmas night.


The clearest, joyful bird songs cutting through the darkness on early Christmas morning.

The single rosebud determined to be there for Christmas Day despite being battered by the heavy rain.

Two sons, kneeling at the altar, not together, but at the altar rail - in two different churches, in two different settings.

The sunlight lighting up the silver, snake like water trails on the sodden moor, as we make our way to the rural church on Christmas morning.

The warm hugs and welcome by familiar members of the small ancient rural church which is freshly decorated with flowers and candles.

The Curate, resplendent in gold stole, standing confidently ready to take the morning service.

My world travelling son receiving communion from his father for the first time.

The laughter and shared double act of The Curate and the church warden at the end of the morning service marking The Curate's last service at this place.

 All Christmas Blessings!

Living in the now

Finding a new home is often both a stressful and exciting event for many people. Since we have been married, The Curate and I have owned several houses and lived in married quarters. We have taken on old houses and renovated them and still have a three hundred year old cottage that needs constant attention. But for now, we live in church owned houses. It was one of the hardest things I had to accept when The Curate became a curate. I spent the first part of his curacy living in our old house during the week and commuting back to live with him at the weekends. I had a job that I was not ready to give up and I guess it was a half way stage to letting go of our home. While The Curate is a curate, our house will always be a temporary home because curates are moved on. It was when I heard The Curate say recently, that we would never live in our old cottage again that the penny finally, and most definitely, dropped. I suppose I knew this but, somehow, I don't think I believed it. It has taken a little while to finally let go of our home and begin to work out what we should do with it. It would be good for the village to see another family in it,rather than it be used only occasionally for holidays. As I write, I know I am writing this to convince myself but I do know we are moving on. 

It was a strange feeling to visit the rectory that is to be our new home next year. We did not peruse the estate agents or any other properties as you do when you are house hunting. We did not even view it together.  We cannot make plans to change or adapt it to suit our needs. Back in the days when The Curate was in the Royal Navy, any house being viewed would be freshly decorated in magnolia coloured paint and we would be in and out mustered with tick lists and inventory. This time things are different and the work to be carried out on the rectory has to be decided between us, the parish representatives, the diocesan pastoral committee and the diocesan surveyor. It seems like a lot of people that have to agree before improvements can be made. And improvements do have to be made!

 

The Curate and I will be travelling back to Dorset to have a meeting with various people to discuss options this week. If there is major work to be done  - now is the time for the diocese to do it - while the house is empty. If it is decorating then we are all prepared to get involved. This will be our third move in four years and it would be good if, this time, we didn't move in with the builders. The time frame seems frighteningly short if we are to be there in February and The Curate licensed in March....and there is Christmas in between......and the prediction of snow this winter! "Have faith Curate's Wife, have faith!" I hear you all saying and I will try!

In the meantime, the puppies have all been found new homes to go to when they are old enough. At only four weeks old yesterday, there are still plenty of worries for Maggie's (the pups mum) owners to deal with and they are a lot of hard work! The pups are slowly being weaned - mealtimes are very entertaining and messy! As all dogs do, they live each moment in the present and do not worry about the future - or the past. Perhaps I should follow their example.

Tomorrow is the first Sunday in Advent and The Curate reminds me that Advent is about waiting for the future but living in the now. Perhaps I had better listen to his sermon tomorrow!

The biggest, the first (and the strangest looking) pup at birth

...has turned into this very handsome pup.

after the deluge

The Lakeland inspects the foam

Oh the rain...the rain! The water is running off the moor bringing all the Autumn debris with it. The pipes and gutters are blocked and the torrents of water race down the roads tossing gravel and leaves aside. The flood waters are frothed up on the moor and then rush by leaving  foamy footmarks. When the rain stops, the temporary torrents slow to a trickle and gravel trails cover the roads. The south west has seen roads blocked, train lines flooded and farm land waterlogged. Yesterday was a respite day before more of the promised rain over night and tomorrow.
Yesterday The Curate and I made good use of the dry window by riding out on the moor. It was sodden from the recent rain but it didn't stop us appreciating the wide open spaces after being cooped up inside for the last few days. I am really enjoying riding Major The Clydesdale, who is wintering at Tor Royal Stables from Adventure Clydesdale. I can't believe that two years ago I knew nothing about Clydesdale horses or riding on Dartmoor.

The Collie inspects the water rushing under the clapper bridge.

After the excitement of interviews and appointments, there is a realisation that we still have quite a few months to wait and The Curate's work does not stop here. The Curate is getting on with his day to day job as the season of carol services and celebrations is fast approaching. Of course, I am in retirement but I haven't found much time to think about my previous life! My mind is mentally moving furniture around the rooms of a house I have only seen once. So on Monday we are returning to see the house with the knowledge that it will be our future home. 

The Curate and I were shown it separately on the interview day and we had no time to discuss it together. It was interesting to see what he had noticed compared to what I remembered. I had walked round the house on the interview day unable to, or wanting to, comprehend that this house could be our next home. I gave it all a cursory glance, not wanting to pre-empt the interview decision. Now we have to decide on paint colours, we have to meet the diocese property people to discuss updates and improvements - all to be finished by February - as this is when we are supposed to move in. My plans for 'retirement' activities may need to be put on hold. (There is also the added distraction of Tess the new pup, who was 3 weeks old yesterday!)

Tess - 3 weeks old

Look after your Curate

As the Curate and I reach the end of his curacy (subject to finding a post), my thoughts turn to all those who are just about to start year 1 of their curacy, having been ordained at Petertide. They will be turning up in your parishes with or without families, feeling slightly shell shocked I expect. For those who have not been trained at college, the move to a 'public' house will be quite a transition. Spare a thought for the families and make them welcome. 

The Curate and I have experienced being left to settle in on our own on two occasions. This was well meant as official duties did not begin until September for us. The thought was that we did not need to be disturbed by well wishes....But we did need to be! We were in a new and unfamiliar place and we really wanted someone to scoop us up and tell us when the bins went out, what all the different recycling bags were for and where to go for shopping - and any other local knowledge we might need to be privy to.

We moved into a house outside the actual parish, in the July and had two months of feeling very lonely. We wondered why our new church were not curious to get to know us - even when we were in the church. It was some months later when we found out that they had been told to give us space to settle in! And the lovely people did that very well! Please don't leave your Curate out in the cold - they can always say they are busy or 'no thank you' but I expect they might appreciate a little love. It was our caring neighbour who came to our rescue - who had not heard the message to keep clear!

We had a similar experience in our second curacy and we muddled through, trying to glean local knowledge as we went along. This recently came up in conversation and it seemed that everyone thought someone else was helping with the 'settling in'! The Curate and I are tough old boots and we have learned a lot from this experience. Should he ever be fortunate to have a curate in his parish, they will probably be writing blogs about the 'old busybody who never leaves them alone'. In reality I hope not but they might appreciate a tin of flapjacks.

Yahoo!!

You perhaps can guess from these thoughts that The Curate has met The Big Bishop for his final grilling interview and he came out smiling (The Curate I mean - I don't know about The Bishop).  So our thoughts can turn (after the summer - he has weddings booked) more positively to 'where next'?  Exciting times!  

Catching up on the North Coast

The Curate catching up with our good friend and old neighbour - Jenny

It is almost a year since The Curate and I moved from the North Coast parish to our present parish on the edge of the moor. This was so that we could live together in the same house and I could carry on with my work rather than commuting  to the North Coast each weekend. The hardest part of a curacy for a curate's wife is the fact that any curate is always passing through and not settling. And, of course, we made it more difficult for ourselves by moving after two years of The Curate's curacy. On the North Coast we were looked after by a very good shepherd - our neighbour - who kept an eye on The Curate when I was away and who was probably the only person who witnessed how challenged I felt by the whole process of The Curate's ordination. She knows how far I have travelled since those early days.

Passing Milestones

The predicted heavy rain started this morning and The Collie and I ventured out onto the moor in the early morning. It was too blustery for The Lakeland, even if she was dressed in her wax jacket, her double layer coat soaks up the rain and it takes all day for her to dry. I was tasked with the dog walk as The Curate had his first experience of 'the big church' in the nearby town. This is a large church with a congregation of around 150 people. Its tradition leans towards formal but it is warm and welcoming and has a fantastic musical tradition. And it is quite a long way from The Curate's Methodist roots and church experience.

When The Curate started his journey, I was reluctant and unsure about seeing my husband in a cassock and I remember asking him never to wear a dress ( that was when he was training as a Methodist Local Preacher). Well I have been nudged along by a very gentle God as The Curate has been trained by the Church of England. Little by little I have found that my toes have stopped curling up and that I can relax and accept my husband in this new role. I have hardly noticed myself changing yet both of us started with very strong views about wearing vestments and felt  that vestments made a minister less accessible. I have written before about The Curate's view of  wearing a collar and he reluctantly bought his cassock and surplice at the beginning of his curacy and now wears them confidently. Milestone after milestone is passed and today he wore vestments. The thought of wearing these had been a huge hurdle for The Curate and he struggled with his decision. It was interesting to see how his gradual acceptance and realisation that it was not about how he felt but about serving the church - and this church expected to see their priest in vestments.

Just to add to the experience The Curate found out only this week that the Diocesan  Director of  Ordinands was delivering the sermon as it was Vocations Sunday. No pressure then! The Curate was not responsible for choosing the hymns and we were both stunned to find 'Living Lord' was one of the hymns. This has followed us through our life together, often appearing at times when a little reassurance is needed.  I am pleased to be able to report that The Curate did not trip over his alb (first time of wearing), did not send the communion wine flying with his flowing robes and covered up forgetting the collect prayer by moving it to later in the service (when he realised)......and my toes didn't curl once!

Sunday Morning

I woke at 4.o'clock this morning and listened to the road report on the radio saying that the M25 was gridlocked in places around London because of the snow. Lorries had jackknifed and cars were travelling too fast, the drivers were too keen to get their destinations with little consideration for others. This is the serious and unpleasant side to any snowfall in England. While I had played in the dusting of snow on Dartmoor on Friday and had hoped for more, those who have to travel today, are faced with disruption and delay in the south east of England. 

Sunday morning here is a different matter. I have walked the dogs without hat and gloves and I felt too warm to keep my coat fastened. Spring is back in business and the ground is covered in snowdrops, crocuses and early wild daffodils which yesterday, had been frosted and limp. It didn't seem possible that they would stand tall again, but there they were this morning. I was stopped suddenly by a rapid hollow knocking coming from the tree I was passing under on the way to the moor. I waited ....there is was again! It was right over my head and as I scanned the leafless branches, I caught sight of a flash of red. The woodpecker was too shy to stay around but it was thrilling to hear the hollow knocking pulsing through the clear air.

When we reached the moor, the dogs were released from their leads and they ran off chasing the scents left by the nocturnal creatures. Yesterday the ground had been frozen solid, today rivulets of water criss-crossed over the sodden turf. Only the few distant dog walkers would enjoy the sunrise with me and the clearing of the skies into brilliant blue, sliced by the wispy trail of two passing aeroplanes.

                                                       
In these surroundings, and while The Curate is at work, I can toss the new ideas for our future that arrived yesterday. Maybe this is my time of prayer. Time spent in the wide open countryside is certainly time when I have the clearest thoughts. We have another invitation to explore possible future employment. It  is exciting but unsettling. 

Will we know when is the right time to jump?  Will we both feel 'called' to the next change?  Do we play safe and wait to explore vacancies in known territories?  Or should we be brave and step outside our comfort zone?   It's too soon to be having to think about the next step, but as I said, an invitation is on the table(again). 

Not a job offer just an invitation to explore............... and it is exciting!

The Model Curate!!!

Could The Curate be searching for a new career?! Click on the ultimate clergy cape and see if you can spot him!!! 

Running from the spotlight?

It does rain a lot in Devon and The Curate risks getting very wet at any outdoor event. Ever the creative thinker and ex-service man, he decided to research bandsman's capes and found a waterproof cape that was exactly what he needed from this Scottish firm (Scotland can also be a very wet place I'm told). 

...........I'm not sure about the new career - we had to take a lot of photographs to find some that could be used! 

School assemblies - notes from The Curate.

The thought of taking a primary school assembly used to fill The Curate with dread. Despite being the son of a teacher and married to a teacher - he had very little experience of organising small people. He was away for much of the time when our own boys were small and he didn't have to do much of the organising. He bravely volunteered to hear readers at the local schools when we lived on the north coast as I suggested he need some allies for when he started to do assemblies. That way the children got to know The Curate rather than just seeing him standing at the front. It was a real eye opener for him to see how children learn and behave in the classroom. He has just received a card from some of the children he got to know very well and, as a result, he used to join them on school trips as well as hear them read in the classroom.

Since moving here, The Curate has gone from strength to strength with his primary school assemblies and he has been thinking about some of the things that he has learned along the way.


1. Small children fly........if you find them seated in the wrong place ask a teacher to move them. 

A  front row child (- the smallest in the school) was given a helping hand to move by The Curate. Being unaware of how light these children were ... his enthusiasm resulted in her being propelled a little further than intended!

2. Repetitive rhymes that tell a story are useful.- These keep the children listening for when they have to join in and they remember them and repeat them .


3. Teaching the children sign language - keeps them quiet! Two thumbs up meeting together for 'Amen' is very popular.


4. Once they trust you - schools are often very happy to hand over the assemblies. - Make sure you don't get too many.


5. Get to know the teachers - don't rush in and rush out - they always seem to have a question or want to know more.

6. Keep it simple.This is not a pulpit preaching session - even if parents are there - the reality is that they are there to see their children - not you. (unless it is a 'church' school.)

7. Watch your hand signals - you may be less aware of an alternative meaning to some of these than the children!

The Curate will not use his fingers to count - he didn't get past two on one occasion!

8. Puppets are good if you can use them - small children are fascinated to watch and listen to the puppet and not you!


9. It usually takes the children longer to come into and out of the hall than the assembly itself.


10. Beware windy days. Weather seems to affect children in very strange ways!


I am sure people reading this will have many more tips - The Curate would love to hear from them!

So... what might a trainee curate's wife learn?

It's taken two long years to come to terms with being married to a curate - not something I ever thought was remotely possible when we got married. So what have I learned ?

A first year curate full of optimism

1. I'm never going to get a Sunday morning lie in with Steve Wright without feeling guilty.

2. 'The Curate's wife' is much easier for other people to remember than my name.

3. To keep a supply of cakes and quiches (that look homemade) in the freezer for bring and share suppers.

4. I can hear The Archers omnibus on BBC i player anytime.

5. I can wash, dry and iron The Curate's surplice in 60 minutes (necessary when he cuts his finger and bleeds all over it  - and has another service that day)     

A year later...........

6. I know that to remove lily pollen from a white surplice - you DO NOT get it wet. (Inspect all altar flowers  for lilies and surreptitiously cut out the stamens.)

7. I know that to remove lily pollen from a white surplice you have to use strong sticky tape.

8. Always have an expandable meal because I never know who The Curate might walk through the door with.   

9. The Curate is often around at suppertime and can prepare a meal just as well as me - so I don't have to rush back from work.

10. 'Curate's Time' is an elastic concept of time - never believe "I'll only be a few minutes".

11.  Sit in an inconspicuous place in church (i.e. behind a pillar) so that The Curate cannot see my facial expressions as he delivers his sermons. 

12.  Sit in an inconspicuous place in church (i.e. behind a pillar) so that I do not catch the The Curate's  eye and make him lose his place.

13. Do not answer the telephone in the study unless I have my own pen and paper to hand. It will not be for me and it is impossible to find a writing implement to write down a message because of all the piles files on the desk.

14.
I will add to this list as I remember all I have learned - please feel free to share your suggestions.