Saturday, 1 December 2012

Living in the now

Finding a new home is often both a stressful and exciting event for many people. Since we have been married, The Curate and I have owned several houses and lived in married quarters. We have taken on old houses and renovated them and still have a three hundred year old cottage that needs constant attention. But for now, we live in church owned houses. It was one of the hardest things I had to accept when The Curate became a curate. I spent the first part of his curacy living in our old house during the week and commuting back to live with him at the weekends. I had a job that I was not ready to give up and I guess it was a half way stage to letting go of our home. While The Curate is a curate, our house will always be a temporary home because curates are moved on. It was when I heard The Curate say recently, that we would never live in our old cottage again that the penny finally, and most definitely, dropped. I suppose I knew this but, somehow, I don't think I believed it. It has taken a little while to finally let go of our home and begin to work out what we should do with it. It would be good for the village to see another family in it,rather than it be used only occasionally for holidays. As I write, I know I am writing this to convince myself but I do know we are moving on. 

It was a strange feeling to visit the rectory that is to be our new home next year. We did not peruse the estate agents or any other properties as you do when you are house hunting. We did not even view it together.  We cannot make plans to change or adapt it to suit our needs. Back in the days when The Curate was in the Royal Navy, any house being viewed would be freshly decorated in magnolia coloured paint and we would be in and out mustered with tick lists and inventory. This time things are different and the work to be carried out on the rectory has to be decided between us, the parish representatives, the diocesan pastoral committee and the diocesan surveyor. It seems like a lot of people that have to agree before improvements can be made. And improvements do have to be made!
The Curate and I will be travelling back to Dorset to have a meeting with various people to discuss options this week. If there is major work to be done  - now is the time for the diocese to do it - while the house is empty. If it is decorating then we are all prepared to get involved. This will be our third move in four years and it would be good if, this time, we didn't move in with the builders. The time frame seems frighteningly short if we are to be there in February and The Curate licensed in March....and there is Christmas in between......and the prediction of snow this winter! "Have faith Curate's Wife, have faith!" I hear you all saying and I will try!

In the meantime, the puppies have all been found new homes to go to when they are old enough. At only four weeks old yesterday, there are still plenty of worries for Maggie's (the pups mum) owners to deal with and they are a lot of hard work! The pups are slowly being weaned - mealtimes are very entertaining and messy! As all dogs do, they live each moment in the present and do not worry about the future - or the past. Perhaps I should follow their example.
Tomorrow is the first Sunday in Advent and The Curate reminds me that Advent is about waiting for the future but living in the now. Perhaps I had better listen to his sermon tomorrow!

The biggest, the first (and the strangest looking) pup at birth
...has turned into this very handsome pup.


  1. I would think it very difficult to sell your cottage home, but some things must change. My husband was in the Canadian Air Force, and we moved so many times, living in houses we didn't own, it became a way of life. When we moved here and bought, it was a way of putting roots down for good, and I'm very glad of that. The puppies are so sweet. I would love to cuddle them.

  2. It's an exciting but unsettling time for you, Harriet, and facing the fact that your beloved cottage probably should be sold is certainly one of the most unsettling things. Living in the now sounds like a good way to deal with the uncertainty.

    Good luck with the forthcoming meeting. In my admittedly quite limited experience of clergy housing, there is a real wish to involve incoming clergy in decisions about improvements. Sadly the limiting factor tends to be finance.....

  3. Hello Harriet. I think we could all benefit from the adorable puppies' way - live in the now. I truly hope your move and renovations go smoothly. All the best to you and the curate.